Sullivan`s Travels Page #3

- Don't be vindictive, dear.

Some people are just naturally more sensitive

to some things in life than some people.

Some are blind to beauty,

while others...

Even as a little girl, you were more of

acid type, dear, while I, if you remember...

- I remember better than you do.

- Well, forget it.

And furthermore, I have never done

anything that I was ashamed of, Ursula.

- Neither have I.

- Yes, but nobody ever asked you to.

- Why, Zeffie Kornhauser!

- Now that you've had your attack for the day,

let's endeavor to recapture our

good humor and remember our breeding.

- Baloney.

- Yes. I do hope he likes it here.

It's so hard to keep a man.

Do you know what I need?

- Yes!

- I need a permanent.

I was thinking of taking in

a picture show,

which brings up the problem

of clothes for the young man.

- It certainly does.

- Do you think...

dear Joseph would mind

if we gave him...

some of the clothes

he has so little need for now?

He's never minded before.

- Sleep tight.

- Yes, ma'am.

- And don't let the skeeters bite.

- Yes, ma'am.

- You're sure you have everything you want?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Absolutely sure?

- Positive.

- But your bed isn't open.

- That's all right. I'll take care of that.

Oh, nonsense.

That's woman's work.

? For men must work

and women must weep?

Or however it goes.

Ahh!

- There. Would you like a hot water bottle?

- No, ma'am.

- You haven't any pajamas.

- I never use them.

- Joseph wore a nightgown.

- Is that a fact?

Oh, yes.

- Well, I guess there's nothing else.

- No, I guess not.

I'll let you know as soon

as the bathroom is free.

- It's community.

- Ah.

Well, uh...

- Good night.

- Good night.

- Do you think he'll stay?

- I do, do hope so.

Who is it?

Say, could you give me a lift?

I'm freezing to death.

- What did you fall into?

- Everything there was.

Okay. Hop in the back.

Here. Drape this around you.

Thanks a million, buddy.

- Okay.

Come on, Buddy, wake up.

This is as far as I go.

- Huh? What? Who are you?

- Come on, wake up.

I don't want the boss to see you.

We ain't supposed to give lifts.

Sure. Thanks a lot.

- Hey, what city is this?

- That's Hollywood.

- Hollywood?

- You get a chance to see the moving picture stars.

Well, so long.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Give me a cup of coffee and a donut,

if that's enough for it.

- You want it plain or with powdered sugar?

- With a little cream.

- The sinker?

- Any kind, or some rolls. I don't care.

Yes, sir.

Give him some ham and eggs.

Yes, ma'am.

That's very kind of you sister,

but I'm not hungry.

A cup of coffee and a sinker

will fix me up fine.

Don't be a sucker.

Give him some ham and eggs.

The way I'm fixed, 35 cents

isn't going to make any difference.

- Here.

- Thanks.

Things a little tough, huh?

I wouldn't be sitting

in an owl wagon for local color.

They locked me out

of my room.

That's too bad.

Well, things are tough everywhere.

War in Europe, strikes over here...

There's no work.

- There's no food.

- Drink your coffee while it's hot.

- What did they lock you out of your room for?

- Did I ask you any questions?

- I'm sorry.

- It's all right.

- You been in Hollywood long?

- Long enough.

- Trying to crash the movies or something?

- Something like that.

- I guess that's pretty hard to do, huh?

- I guess so.

I never got close enough

to find out.

- Oh. Sorry.

- Say, who's being sorry for who?

Am I buying you the eggs

or are you buying me the eggs?

- I'd just like to repay you.

- All right, give me a letter of introduction to Lubitsch.

- I might be able to do that. Who's Lubitsch?

- Drink your coffee.

- Can you act?

- What did you say?

- I said, can you act?

- Sure, I can act.

- Would you like me to give you a recitation?

- Go ahead.

Skip it. My next act will be

an impersonation...

of a young lady going home...

on the thumb.

- In that outfit?

- What about your own outfit?

- I mean, haven't you got a car?

- No. Have you?

- No, but...

- Then don't get ritzy.

And I'll tell you some

other things I haven't got.

I haven't got a yacht,

or a pearl necklace,

or a fur coat,

or a country seat,

or even a winter seat.

I could use a new girdle, too.

I wish I could give you some

of the things you need.

You wouldn't be trying

to lead me astray, would you?

You know, the nice thing about

buying food for a man...

is that you don't have

to laugh at his jokes.

Just think... if you were some big shot,

like a casting director,

I'd be staring into

your bridgework saying,

"Yes, Mr. Smearkase.

No, Mr. Smearkase.

"Not really, Mr. Smearkase.

Oh, Mr. Smearkase,

that's my knee. "

Give Mr. Smearkase another

cup of coffee. Make it two.

- Want a piece of pie?

- No thanks, kid.

Why, Mr. smearkase, aren't you

getting a little familiar?

Look...

Thanks.

Look, if you wanted to stay

in Hollywood a little longer...

I don't want to stay

in Hollywood a little longer.

I've used up all my money,

all my going-home money.

I was just gonna say,

I have a friend that's out of town...

and you might be able to stay

at his place for a couple of weeks...

and maybe by then things

will break a little better for you.

- He might even be able to help you a little.

- No, thanks.

There's no strings

to this, kid.

I know you don't know who I am, but

I used to know a few people around here.

And this guy's

really out of town.

And you know a way in

through the window. No, thanks.

- No. I'm pretty sure that in this case...

- I'm going home, big boy.

I can get a ride out of here

in a little while.

I don't like to think of you asking a

bunch of thugs for lifts along the highway.

- Then don't think about it.

- You mean you'd just get in any car that comes along?

- Anything but a Stanley Steamer. My uncle blew up in one.

- That's terrible.

You can't tell what kind of a heel

is apt to be behind the wheel.

All heels are

pretty much the same.

- Look.

- Yes, Mr. Smearkase?

This friend of mine... the guy I was

telling you about that's out of town...

I'm sure he wouldn't mind

if I borrowed his car.

- What is it, a street car?

- It's a car. Just wait here.

You're just going to get

yourself in trouble.

I'm not going to get myself in trouble.

I'm going to repay you.

That isn't necessary,

big boy.

Someday, when your ship

comes in,

you can buy somebody that's hungry

some ham and eggs and be all square.

That's fine. Just wait here

and I'll be back before you can say...

- What was that big director's name?

- Lubitsch.

Lubitsch.

Say, this is some car.

Yes. Now, where

would you like to go?

Could you drop me off at, uh...

Or maybe that'd be too far.

- That depends entirely on where it is.

- Would Chicago be too far?

- Chicago? You mean Chicago, Illinois?

- Yes.

I wasn't actually thinking

of driving as far as Chicago.

That's all right.

You can drop me anywhere.

I just happened to think

of Chicago because...

that's a little better than halfway and

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